A Global Cooling Off Period Courtesy of Your Libertarian Opinionizer
Sometimes some people get so fixated on a cause, a campaign, a crusade that they forget to pause once in a while and just love, live and laugh. Especially laugh. It’s time for the Climate Calamity Crowd to stop hyperventilating and Learn to eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow it may all be a lie. Today, after all, we are supposed to be covered by glaciers and dead already from Global Cooling.
The following is a Guest Article by Prof. Carbone di Aukcyde, Climate Change True Believer and A Junk Professor at the Center for a Green New Fantasy (with apologies to Mark Gelhaus.)
In spite of everything, certain ignorant cretins such as libertarians just haven’t given in to the continually spoon fed religion of Anthropogenic Global Warming, also known as Manmade Climate Change, also known by the politically correct gender-neutral appellation and scientifically designated “Homo Sapiens-Instigated Climatological Transmogrification” which is further known by its vulgarian name, “Not Global Cooling This Time.”
A recent article in American Thinker written by an obviously clueless Climate Change Denialist (possibly but not proven to be one of those reactionary libertarian agitators) should have the entire Climate Change Crowd up in angry arms. The headline itself, “Climate Changing for the Better” goes totally against what everyone absolutely knows, that “The Science Is Settled!” It’s nailed down. It’s iron clad, just as Area 51 Space Aliens and Flat Earth are Settled Science!
Just consider this ignorant opening statement from Mark Gelhaus, the article’s author:
“The idea that Climate Change is a negative thing, an unnatural thing, and an inevitably destructive thing predominates in our society. In truth, Climate Change and carbon emissions have overwhelmingly positive effects.”
This absolutely cannot stand. Climate Change is politics after all. Not one single wealthy powerful egotistical psychopathic world leader or their closest sycophants will ever give up a single privilege they have today—private jets, stretch limos, vacation mansions, worldwide jaunts at taxpayer expense—no matter how much they will pretend to do so but they will damn sure make you give up everything you have for their benefit in the name of Stopping Climate Change. This has always been the way of the world and so should it be with Climate Change.
Besides, why would politically connected climatologists, scientific institutions and major university science departments continue to get their taxpayer-funded research grants for studying and proving manmade Climate Change if manmade Climate Change isn’t happening? Even if it isn’t manmade the freakin’ climate is still changing as it has for millennia for freakin’ sake so keep that money rolling in and they’ll keep giving you the results you want!
Clearly everyone vested in the Climate Change Industry must absolutely keep everyone on earth—or at least every taxpayer in the wealthiest nations—convinced that Climate Change is both real and manmade.
Climate Changers dependent on future incomes, jobs, benefits, fame, social relevancy, virtue signaling, political careers, ego fulfillment and appearances on CNN and MSNBC need Climate Change.
So let’s cherry-pick this noncompliant article to death and refute every single word of it.
“For comparison, atmospheric CO2 levels are a bit above 400 ppm…”
Okay, okay, so CO2 at 400 parts per million in our atmosphere right now isn’t a problem. In fact 350 to 1000 ppm is considered good quality, 2000 to 5000 is “dirty air” causing headaches, insomnia and nausea while ppm above 5000 is toxic and fatal.
That means it’s just the beginning and we’re all gonna die unless we start switching to wind-powered cars now!
“The fact that CO2 increases plant productivity is not only demonstrated in laboratory settings but also in nature. In one study, artificially doubling CO2 from pre-industrial levels increased tree productivity by around 23 percent, wheat improved by 11.5 percent, and corn by 8.4 percent.”
So who needs more wheat and corn? We should all be eating Burger King Double Soy Whoppers and McWhey Burgers on toasted rice patties anyway!
“NASA satellites confirm the earth is greening. Each year, 2 million square miles of green leafy area is added to the world.”
Yeah, right, so we start chopping down all those new trees to build housing for the homeless so how we gonna build them, by clearing off all those new green leafy areas? The CO2 must be getting to some people’s brains.
“With increased CO2 levels, plants can produce the same with less water, or produce more with the same amount of water. Plants become more efficient at photosynthesis, which means less water released into the atmosphere, and more moisture retention on land.”
C’mon people, we don’t give a damn about H2O levels here, we’re talking about CO2 levels! CO2 is Carbon dioxide. Bad stuff. H2O is water. We have ‘nuff of that already. Stay on topic!
“Higher temperatures due to a warming planet means a longer growing season … also lead to increased precipitation … leads to better crop productivity, and to decreased droughts and decreased wildfires … This is environmentally friendly in that preserving wild lands helps animals and plants survive.”
But we’re building cheap high-density housing for the homeless on those wild lands with all the new trees we’re cutting down, remember? And there you go with the H2O misdirection again! It’s about CO2 causing Global Warming, heating up the earth, remember?
“Climate Change may bring about greater energy conservation as well. Regulating building temperatures is one area. More energy is needed to heat homes and buildings than is needed to cool them. Increased cloud cover, from the increased precipitation, means milder temperatures, less extreme highs and less extreme lows. Lesser energy would be needed for cooling and heating.”
Ha! He’s not so smart after all. Everyone already knows that when we’re stopping the rise of CO2 and saving the world from Climate Change we’ll be creating whole new sources of renewable energy from wind power and solar power. Let’s see him deny that!
“The common renewables of wind and solar do not provide a steady source of energy. Nor are wind and solar energy always obtainable. These unsteady sources must be backed up by reliable sources. Natural gas is a great backup. Natural gas has high thermodynamic efficiency, produces less nitrogen oxides, less sulfur oxides, and fewer particulates than other common powerplant types. When green energy fails to deliver the necessary, a simple cycle natural gas plant is often switched on in order to supply power.”
This guy is a real smartass. Is this writer a libertarian? Some of those creatures are disgustingly logical, like they adapted Objectivist philosophy to their libertarian ideas or something. Where’s their compassion for human beings? What about all those millions of poor souls around the world living in low-lying coastal areas? Their homes will be flooded by rising sea levels from all that increased H2O production. They’ll become homeless, jobless, crammed into refugee camps! Oh the humanity! The guy has no compassion for people getting rich from the taxpayer-funded wind and solar power industries!
“If there does come a day where the negative impacts of increased CO2 levels outweigh the benefits, there are several solutions. One solution could be to pump seawater into reservoirs in places like the Sahara.”
Oh just fantastic! When the icecaps start melting we’re gonna destroy one of the Great Unique Natural Environmental Wonders of the World by turning it into a big ugly landlocked saline lake, the Sahara Sea, and sell waterfront lots to rich people.
And think about all the proud, dignified, noble and immensely malodorous nomadic sheep, goat and camel-herding peoples of the Sahara. They will be driven from their homes. They’ll become refugees forced to live in those cheap high-density housing units for the homeless built on those new wild lands with all the new trees that were cut down. Their very culture will vanish from the earth and their children will be forced to learn how to use running water, flush toilets, toothbrushes and modern medicine, all because Americans couldn’t switch to driving windup cars.
(That’s right people, you’ve been mispronouncing it all this time. It’s wined power, not winned power.)
The worst of it is that the Libertarian Loonies want to “solve” Climate Change by throwing the doors of the free market wide open and allowing every thinking human on the planet to come up with their own ideas on the premise that the marketplace will select the best solutions that work and reject the ones that won’t.
That’s nuts! How can the Powerful Collectivist Liberal, Progressive, Groupthink Democratic Socialist Political Elites solve Global Climate Change without redistributing everyone’s incomes, freedoms, rights, individuality and futures into their own hands so they and their mistresses can keep jetting off to high level strategy conferences in Paris and Cancun and Monte Carlo and Bali?
And from there all of us learned public figures can move on to other pressing matters, like using everyone’s tax money to stop Human-Caused Volcanic Activity and Human-Caused Tectonic Plate Movement and Human-Caused Global Axial Tilt.
Yay Climate Change!
Text Capsule: References and Links
More CO2 is Good This is the full article of the contrarian view that claims Climate Change and carbon emissions have overwhelmingly positive effects and optimistically concludes that “The earth is always changing. Life is always adapting.”
Libertarian Principles & Climate Change Both philosophical and political L/libertarians are admonished not to confuse principles with facts. Libertarians must apply to the context of Climate Change the same principles they apply to all other issues.
Global Lukewarming The earth’s climate is forever changing, human-caused or not. This 2015 Cato article discredits the science itself: “current state-of-the-art climate models are not up to the task of simulating the actual behavior of the earth’s climate.”
Global Warming Discussion 1. “The libertarian answer would be to let a free market in education, tech, science try to solve global warming.” 2. “Government is one of the biggest if not top polluters in the world. Tragedy of the commons, wasteful spending.”
