I have a solution for Delta Air Lines’ latest pussy-hat wearing, politically correct conundrum of racial quotas. Not that the company is looking for such a solution because obviously they’ve got another schema going on here. But just in case, I shall give them the benefit of the doubt that they aren’t using their corporate powers for evil, and shall give them the benefit of my expertise.
It is self-evident that the company is saving a huge amount of money by: avoiding lawsuits from the Stacy Abrams, BLMs, and ACLUs of this world; not having to cut dividend checks to domestic investors; and cashing checks from international investors like the Soros’ and China-types, too.
But, in a better world, their customer service would work like this:
Delta would list all their planes, pilots, and other flight crew in a dynamic database that updates “on the fly” (like what I did there?) and have it linked to every place reservations are made. Then Customer will:
1. Choose a flight of choice.
2. See the age of the plane to be used on that flight along with all maintenance records (completed and scheduled) and all customer complaints about that piece of equipment.
3. See all flight crew information including training scores and actual hours of flight time along with crash count (pilot, co-pilot, navigator), and for stewards and stewardesses, their ability to make flotation devices work when needed, open emergency doors in a timely fashion, un/buckle seat belts, serve drinks and nuts and cookies, make balloon animals, and point to bathrooms.
4. For public-facing personnel, customer will also be given:
a. Whether or not the personnel has been involved in a lawsuit either as plaintiff or defendant, the outcome of that suit, and the reason for it.
b. Score for each personnel assigned to that flight telling us if they understand that customer service involves no screaming unless plane is in trouble, smiling nicely unless plane is in trouble, no Little Dictators threatening deplaning action for being a human, ability rating to entertain, whether or not they have a ready-to-go comedy/music floor show sure to please, and proficiency in other customer service best practices like delivering a blankee and tiny pillow near the beginning of the flight without the customer having to beg and suffer like a penitent pilgrim on the Peregrinatio Compostellana.
Customers do not need to know, and frankly do not care about, employees’:
1. Gender,
2. Sexual preference,
3. Color of skin,
4. Religion,
5. Gun-ownership status,
6. Political affiliation,
7. Beliefs,
8. Ability to speak PC,
9. If they know the diff between Star Trek and Star Wars,
10. Or if they can navigate through Super Mario 3 and get to the Big Boss and save the princess.
WE. DO. NOT. CARE. Holy frickin’ moley!
I would love to see my solution roll out across the world, and I bet other customers would, too. In fact, prediction! A whole new marketing campaign for ticket sellers. They could advertise their services as making this flood of safety information the most easily digestible for ticket-buying flying public with their most brilliant, easily clickable, and effortless sortable interface. See? Commerce at its best is Communists’ worst enemy.
YOU CAN DO THIS, DELTA! Be the world leader again. Doesn’t this seem like total transparency? Yes, it does. But, Delta would want to list those other ten criteria because — and Delta Air Lines’ counsel should take note of this — it completely throws onto the public any and all responsibility for racial choice as Delta could point to massive amounts of data showing the public’s choice. See? No more fuzzy, fussy, blurry, incendiary racial lawsuits, Delta. Blame the customer! It don’t get no better than that, right?
Except, one must ask: Is Delta interested in customer service anymore, much less racial anything?
No, they aren’t. At least, the petty meddling in the business of Citizens by the suits in the C-Suite clearly show they are more interested in getting the contract for being the airline of choice to the One-World Gubment they seem to be backing. I can see the tagline now —
Fly Delta:
The Official Airline of Bully Dicktaters and Apparat-Chicken Littles Everywhere!
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Thank you for participating in spreading good messaging and sharing this with your friends and social network! Born and raised in Georgia, Angela K. Durden is an author, publisher, editor, songwriter, performer, and more, living in the Metro Atlanta, Georgia, area. Her newest novel “The Case of the Snuff Tape Killers” is now available on Amazon.com. Get it today. Thank you!
